The Dog Days are Over

So, world. I have yet another brief but funny story to tell. I'm not going to give you the back story of the story because that would ruin the story.

So here's the story. Wow I just used the word story a ton. Haha. Story.
Today, Claire and I went to get Which Wich on campus for dinner. (I always type Wich Which first and then I use my logical reasoning and realize that doesn't make sense and correct it).
We write down our sandwiches and everything is going great. In fact, I am having a great day, completely void of any seriously awkward encounters. Huzzah, right?
Wrong.

So, we walk up to the register and the male cashier says, "Wow, I can smell one of you." And I just stare because I'm trying to remember if I put on deodorant this morning. Then he elaborates: "Your perfume."
Naturally, my big throws me under a bus and says, "It's not me, it's her." (I still love you, though.)

Interruption: if you work at Which Wich, don't comment on your customer's scent. They won't come back. You hear that, sir? I'M NOT COMING BACK. (Except in a couple of days I'll probably crave a grinder and and I'll break that resolution, but it's the thought that counts.)

Now here's the thing: I am NOT, I repeat NOT, one of those girls who overdoes the perfume.
In fact, I hardly ever wear it. This is because I am allergic to perfume and if I wear it every day in succession my eyes swell up and my throat becomes inflamed and I start developing a cough like a bark. (So pleasant). So I save it for special occasions.

Today was not a special occasion. See below.

So, after my big throws me under a bus, I immediately try to explain lest he gets the wrong idea. So, I say "Oh well, I put on perfume because I went to the Humane Society to play with dogs and then I smelled like dogs but I didn't have time to shower but I didn't want to smell like dogs so that's why*."


*verbatim

And he just says, "...Okay.**"

**also verbatim. Ellipses and all.

This was the truth. But, as Claire was quick to point out, I did not need to share all of that information.

I was just trying to explain why I smelled so strongly of Clinique Happy. Because I am not one of those girls who overdoes the perfume.

Anyway, the moral of the story is this: it is okay to not want to smell like dogs. It is not okay to share this information with Wich Which cashiers.